When running with someone, certain conversation is ok. But not ones about re-engineering your business thingies to bring them in line with your other thingies. Grunting is the order of the day. My new running buddy should know that conversations when running are had at the expense of breathing. As we all know, breathing is important otherwise it’s being humped by a hobo time. We even passed some girls with water pistols… now I grunted of course, which is my way of saying “Girls pant pant water pant pant spray pant pant cool down pant pant”. Seems perfectly sensible right? So here are my permitted subjects when running…

  • Anything that involves nodding at something vaguely interesting, then I can look at it and grunt as a response. This could include things like “I just saw a UFO” or “Oh look, a nuclear weapon has just gone off” (Response : Grunt, Grunt, Nod)
  • Raised eyebrows in my direction… this obviously indicates “Oh, you appear to have died, are you going to be OK? Can I rob you/interfere with you?”   (Response : try to lie still and pretend to be dead)
  • Quizicle frowning look thing…. which clearly means “Look I fancy a break but I’ll only stop if you stop then I can blame you for it and of course I could clearly have carried on for hours” (Response : ohgodpleasestopI’lldoanythingyoucaneventouchmyhappyplace)
  • Saying “I am currently re-engineering the business paradigms of co-opetition policies to bring them in line with the arghghghg stop stabbing me stop stop you’re sweatyyyy”

(Great photo courtest of