Aww, I do like Kevin McCloud from Grand Designs. Some of his phrases to describe the potential building disasterssssss are so funny. Today it was that the people building their Grand Design were having two main contractors, one for the ground works, one for the timber frame… so Kevin shows us a brick and piece of wood rubbin’ against each other. Wowww, classic!

One day I *really* want to be on that programme. Sod being eco friendly, sod the money, I’ll just throw cash and ideas and experts at my dream house project. And yep, it will be hooge, light, airy and glassy! Butttt, it will have lots of natural materials, it will have warm snuggly rooms and it will be so so well heated that it’d never ever feel chilly! Andddd, by the time the programme had finished, it wouldn’t be like the typical builds on this programme where the outside of the house was still a mud pit, the formal gardens would be built as much as possible at the same time as the house. Oh god and it’d have gadgets, so so many gadgets. And, finally, I’d never wear a hard hat on TV! People look so stoopid in them, sod health and safety! Andddd, finally finally… there would be *no budget*. If you’re going to do it then do it with unlimited money! OK OK I haven’t finished. Imagine that moment when you open the door and walk into your finished, furnished house. Good God how emotional a moment that’d be. And I’d have no fricking neighbours! How to ruin an amazing house – build it next to a bloody road and other ugly houses!