Oooh, spa’s! I love em. Last weekend Jen kindly took me to Grayshott Spa in, um, Grayshott. Sometimes when you go away it takes a while to switch off, but here you were detached from the real world, put into a dressing gown (even at dinner) and everything just melted away.

Wow, Pete loved it! you must be thinking….

Yes, the massages were excellent, the dry float thing was fab… there has to be a but though.. and it was that the food was all healthy! Even the food that was technically bad for you seemed healthy! Nice food… but, healthy! I really don’t think I could eat beans and nuts and salad and goddamned butternut squash for more than a week. Partly I don’t think my ass would allow it, but also it kinda just makes you feel like you have a nose bag on and you’re just troughing away at it. I know troughing isn’t a word, but you know what I mean.

If you’ve not had a massage because you think it’s too gay or boring… then you’re wrong and you ought to try it. Message ends!