If we’re doin’ ticks…

Amazing legs, sort of boyish : Tick
Nice eyebrows : Tick
Ponytail : Tick
Posh voice : Tick
Fricking Rich and has own butler : Tick
Guns : Tick
Chest ridiculously big : NoTick

She means a lot to me, part of my gaming history. The horrible bone crunching sound when she died (or rather, when I caused her to die) in the original Tomb Raider games still haunts me now. But I realised she’s been kind of hijacked and confused by everyone, most of all her creators who *at last* have realised they need to make her chest more realistic. For a start the Angelina Jolie decision was just plain *wrong*. She’s a scary lady, no class at all, ever. Lara is pure class and breeding! Also, go look on the internet for pictures of her. The photos are either terrifying women dressed up as Lara or scary CG pics of her in either dominating or violent poses or timid vulnerable poses. Sigh, is that the male populations choices summed up? Finally, they really need to stop turning her into Liz Hurley. They really do.

Right, that’s it. I’m 18 pages into Google Images looking for one bloody decent Lara photo and I can’t find one. So, just her thighs and ass it is!