My route in the dark

  • 10pm : Badadadadadadada
  • 11pm : *shoots Kier in the ass*
  • 12pm : Badadadadadaddaaaa night everyone!
  • 12:01am : Turn off big bright TV and feel my retinas start to cool down
  • 12:02am : Turn off lights
  • 12:03am : Realise that the brightness of my TV and playing Call of Duty for two hours has actually burnt holes into my head and I’m blind
  • 12:04am : Oh crap I’ve got to get up to the second floor of my house and all I can see on the back of my eyelids is Kier’s body lying dead in various positions all over the middle-east
  • 12:05am : OK forward through lounge, down two steps into dining room, move forward 5 steps then put hands out so I don’t walk into door frame.
  • 12:05am : Turn right and start up stairs, count 11 steps and BEWARE THE ARGHGHGHG FRICKING CAT WHY DOES IT SIT AT THE TOP OF THESE STAIRS!
  • 12:06am : Stop stroking the damned cat that tried to kill me, turn left then left again with throbbing eyeballs and start up second set of stairs 1, 2, 3, 4. Turn left then left again then up final set of stairs 1, 2, 3, 4.
  • 12:06am : Walk quietlyyy past the OW SHIT stub toe on the corner of the bed ouchhh.
  • 12:07am : Get into bed, attempt to sleep except all I can see in my mind is 2 hours of bloody conflict buzzing through my brain.

I really must give up. I’ve practically lost the use of my sprinting thumb!