But we’re sure as hell to get our asses kicked during the rest of the war!

??? I can hear you saying! Well, I’ve been playing a lot of Call of Duty 4 online with my “friends”. Yes, time for those quotation marks again. I’m 37, and even I am struggling to accept that it’s OK to have online-gaming-buddies that I talk to through my headset whilst running round in a computer game trying to stab them in the a…. um… arteries. It’s not that sort of game really, but a couple of times when it starts to get tense (you can tell it’s getting tense because the usual abuse dies down and people start to concentrate) all you can hear is a few grunts and oooga noises as we chase each other around a deserted factory trying to insert a surprise knife somewhere tender.

I actually can’t imagine a time when I won’t play computer games, even though I’m not that great at them. Surely if I haven’t given up by 37 then I won’t give up ever? What could possibly change me? OK, apart from growing up (-:

I’ve noticed a few key factors in my recent online play. Firstly you’re going to come across a total asshole at least once a night. Recently it was someone singing YMCA throughout the entire game. Next, there seems to be some mandatory inclusion of a geordie in every game. I think there must be some government rehabilition scheme in operation to get them to play games online to slowly expose them to normal accents in the vain hope they’ll stop saying ‘Howay” all the time. It isn’t working though. Finally, it’s that overall, apart from the abuse, people are really nice to each other. Do something impressive even if it entails the demise of someone on another team and they’ll congratulate you for it. Where the hell does that happen in other team activities!

Look, just be thankful for small mercies… it keeps me off the streets. Link to excellent cartoon goes to the excellent Joy of Tech